Let it go

I’ve always been such a control freak about everything. I hate group project, I hate coordinating with other people, I hate letting other people have control over really anything. Now, sometimes that serves me very well: things get done on time, they are typically good quality, and I’m able to stress less once I know things are done. However, it’s also a very bad thing too. Sometimes it’s impossible to do everything on your own and trying to just makes you crazy.

I remember in high school we had to do a project. We were learning about how African countries’ borders were more or less arbitrarily drawn and were supposed to redraw the borders taking into account resources, religion, etc. My teacher was absolutely terrible at explaining the project and my group did it completely wrong. When it came time to present the project, one of our group members had redone the whole project without telling anyone and had only done half the required work for it. So basically we all got a very bad grade. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that she caught our mistake but like I tend to do, she took on the whole project herself and only got it half done. Then there was a whole lot of fighting with the teacher, lying to cover people’s ass, etc. but that’s a different story for a different time. The point is, sometimes it’s impossible to do it all or to force people to help you do things so you just have to let it go and leave it in the hands of other capable people.

Take my fiance for example. We’re starting to get wedding things set to go and along with a million other things he needs his baptism certificate and I need the address of his family to start addressing our Save the Dates. Sure I could call up his parents and ask for addresses or where he got baptized but that isn’t my job! I have my baptism certificates and family addresses. I’ve reminded him numerous times to get this together because it can take time. Has he done it? Not really. Does it bother me? oh, hell yes! But that doesn’t mean I’m going to go out of my way and take on the stress to do it myself. I know he will get it done; not when I want him to, but he will. Part of the reason I asked him to do it so early is because I know he will take FOREVER just go get it done.

As much as I would love to be able to control everything around me, I just can’t. Some things are just out of my control and I have to find a way to let it go. It’s a struggle and some days I do better than others but I know that in order to be happy and not burn the candle at both ends, it’s something I need to do.


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