Things my professor says

I absolutely adore my criminal law professor. He’s funny and just does not care if he’s being blunt or honest. So throughout the semester, I’ve collected some of the funniest (probably not out of context but whatever) or blunt things he’s said.

1. “X drove down Brown street and recklessly ran into the small baby festival”-recklessness

2. “So where are we….also know as the redneck riviera”

3. “When someone is uncomfortable with a word in the law, they use latin”-discussing sexual crimes and the MPC

4. “You guys are spending too much money and I have too short a fuse to deal with tricks”-exam questions

5. “It easier if you have half a brain to rob a bank with a computer than a shotgun”-robbery

6. “I know alcohol. I may be familiar with Cuervo”-Aiding and abetting

7. “You have a small gang of 5. It’s a new gang”-Aiding and abetting

8. “Mike Tyson used to be the heavyweight champion….and a real sweet guy”-retreat

9. “Neurotic” “Erotic?” “No, neurotic” “Oh. I wondered where you were going with that”-retreat/castle doctrine

10. “A jovial little gathering of snot nosed kids”-Police use of authority/school athletic riots

11. “I’ve met the Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ many times. And I never argued with them”-psychosis

These are probably funnier in context but whatever. I still find them hilarious.


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